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Among her people the lavish entertainments of Our Lady Axtomed have assumed an almost mythopoeic quality. No expense is spared to create the sense of appropriate spectacle implied by the Grell word “lynghe” and so beloved by that hardy warrior race. On this occasion and at great cost, Our Lady has acquired an Earthling slave as a personal tribute to her guest of honour.
At their best Earthlings are sombre creatures, lazy and disobedient, bitter and resentful, dull and slow-witted. They have little value other than as objects of curiosity. Their great price is due more to rarity than any intrinsic worth.
Many of her guests find the Earthling slave strangely disturbing, with its shattered eyes and radiation- scarred features. The Great Jargale though is delighted by the creature’s attendance on him, praising Our Lady for the thoughtfulness behind such an exquisite gesture.
Later, when the children have been put into cold storage and the methane is flowing freely, Jargale consents to tell them how he conquered the planet Earth with a single scout cruiser. It is an old story and known to everyone, but among the Grell familiarity is revered and no breeder of contempt.
‘I set out on what was intended purely as a reconnaissance trip, to see for myself what sort of defences the Earth had. What I discovered was alarming. The planet was ringed by several networks of advanced weaponry. Of course the devices were relatively unsophisticated, about what you would expect from a culture in the atomic stage of development. What I found disquieting was the great number of the devices, far more than I had anticipated. I realised at once that reducing the Earth would not be the easy task my superiors had led me to believe. Our intelligence reports on Earthling ingenuity and foresight had been entirely in error.
‘Then disaster struck, or so I thought at the time. One of the scout’s probes accidentally triggered an Earthling device. Immediately that vast system of automated weaponry was alerted to an alien presence and began to react as programmed.’
Jargale has told this story countless times before and knows precisely when to pause for the maximum dramatic effect. He takes a sip from his glass and sits for long moments staring at the flickering sky, lost in contemplation of the inexplicable.
Our Lady Axtomed summons her guest back to present reality after an appropriate period of time has passed.
‘What happened next?’
The old Grell shakes his head ruefully. ‘Something miraculous. Something I still do not understand and perhaps never will. All that fantastic weaponry they had put into orbit, it was aimed not at space but at the Earth itself.’
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